The unknown destructive force in family businesses

What is the root cause of couple’s tension when they work together in a business? One word disapproval’.

Working together in business, disapproval often overrides all loving caring connection.

Two less talked about factors that eat away at the loving connection of a couple until the connection eventually breaks are firstly each spouse’s individual operating system and secondly disapproval of the other spouse’s operating system. The two go hand in hand and form a powerful anti-spouse resistance or push back which filters into most areas of their life together.

Working together in a small business amplifies this so much more and the disapproval cloud hangs over them most of the time, it’s not just contained to work.

Small businesses are under relentless pressure to be profitable, support their family, plus keep a team employed and support their families.

Hence it follows that disapproval by one spouse of the other or both of each other becomes the overriding vibe between them. Constant back-and-forth disagreements based on disapproval become their number one interaction.

The three essentials to a thriving marriage are Goodwill, Cooperation and Camaraderie. All three slowly ebb away until the relationship communications are reduced to mainly disapproving observations and criticisms pointing out flaws, faults and deficiencies.

Goodwill is the number one essential ingredient to a happy thriving relationship and it cannot co-exist with disapproval between them.

It’s very tricky to navigate a spouse’s disapproval in any situation, however, in a business environment where staff or clients are witness to the expressions of disapproval this magnifies the problem so much so that all warmth in their marriage disappears and is replaced with cold, irritable edginess.

There is a way to turn this around, to get back to goodwill and warmth for each other. That way is to step back and assess all the good, great, essential contributions each spouse is making to the business. Even to writing lists of what each does and recognize the valuable input.

It comes down to each spouse honouring the input of the other spouse. Noticing their individual strengths. Validating their individual contributions.

Most importantly it boils down to positive praise.

Praise is the secret sauce to uplifting any human’s spirits. Praise is extraordinarily powerful in maintaining a loving connection throughout the trials and tribulations of owning and operating a business together.