Mid-life crisis or life? Millennials face the challenge

Growing up, I remember laughing with friends as we saw adults hit the “mid-life crisis”. Buying into the belief that as people hit 40, they’d be thrown into a spin. Buying fancy cars, quitting jobs, moving house, trading their wives or husbands in for something else (you get it). An age marked by meltdowns, impulsive behaviour, gossip, scandal and humour (if you were on the sideline, that is).

At that time, 40 felt so old: so far away. Yet here we are. The irony: here I am, part of a generation, who are now either in that phase or coming up to it.

I’ve written a lot about the millennial “quarter-life crisis”. It happens when our generation reaches their late 20s or early 30s and starts to question life. They ask where they should be, could be, if they’re “on path”, and reaching the “right milestones”. It usually happens because they compare themselves to their parents at the same age. Who often had families, homes, and steady careers. And while this is a huge subject alone, it’s hard not to wonder how this compares to what the “mid-life crisis” will unveil.

For one, as a millennial, these questions such as: “Have I achieved enough?”, “Am I where I should be?”, “Should I be doing more?”, “Am I living an authentic life?”, “Am I happy?” etc don’t end. They may have quieted down, but I realise that the volume dial is being turned up again. This isn’t helped by comparisons, FOMO, perfectionism, overachieving and general anxiety that our generation experiences. It’s also not helped by the changing world around us. We continue to pivot and adapt – to exhausting degrees – in what feels like a perpetual game of “keep up”. This also includes the current “recession”. We’re struggling with cost of living, continued debt, limited jobs, rising interest rates, political uncertainty … the list goes on. And yes, while I realise it’s not just millennials feeling this way, it doesn’t stop questioning whether we’re the most challenged generation. Or, if this is just history repeating itself.

But deep down, there’s something else. An unanswered question (or questions) perhaps. Is how I feel – how our generation feels – the same as what those adults we laughed at felt? Our parents, even our grandparents? Did they ask the same questions? Did they feel the same way?

The world is different. We can’t compare apples to oranges. But I wonder if this period isn’t about dealing with the world around us, as much as it is about the existential questions that arise from time to time. In this instance, letting us have full permission to throw a tantrum on our 40th birthday.

But what then to the quarter-life crisis that we’ve been through? That was tough. How do we gear ourselves up for the next round? And will this be the last? Or should our generation be penciling in a mid-50s crisis? The one where we realise we’ll never be able to retire because we’re still carrying the burden of debt from our 20s. Or because we’ve had to pivot into our tenth career to try to keep up with the job market and the ever-changing world around us.

Whatever the road ahead, however we deal with the next “crisis”, we can take solace in the fact that we aren’t alone. As a generation, and as humans. And as the age-old saying goes, “This, too, shall pass.”