It can be really hard to tell if this is true…consistently looking inwards and assessing yourself post an interaction or event is a difficult (but important!) skill to master.
I think it’s fair enough to say when we approach challenging conversations, negotiations or meetings at work, we are all hoping for a positive outcome.
Sometimes though, our minds need a bit of a “re-set” before we step in to make sure. If we always prepare (mentally and physically) in advance, we are so much more likely to forge a successful outcome.
My suggestions for the “you” side of things? Take 10 minutes prior and ask yourself:
- What is the outcome I want to achieve here?
- What information do I need to obtain in this situation before delivering my own informed response? (Remember “Seek to understand and then be understood”).
- What tone should my voice take on when speaking with this person(s)? Which words that I choose will attract the impact I seek? Choose your words carefully…
- How do I want to appear physically? (if meeting in person) What should my body language look like?
- What do I anticipate the attitude/ behaviour to be from the other person(s) in this situation? What contingencies do I have in place to respond to any negativity?
- Am I bringing my best self to this situation?
It is both the preparation in advance and the reflection post taking part in an interaction – whether a conversation, meeting, review or interview – that sets us up for ongoing success in matching our intention with our behaviour. So, after such an interaction:
- Reflect upon how the other person reacted to your behaviour and communication.
- Seek feedback from reliable others regularly regarding how they perceive your ongoing interactions with others.
- Always seek to evolve, develop and “be your best” but don’t over think a situation that doesn’t go the way you want it to – remember, it takes two to tango.
It takes courage to consistently enter “the room of mirrors” but the effort will reward you with a much more meaningful experience at work. Try it.
Lexie Wilkins, Culture and Employee-Engagement Expert and Director, Lexie Wilkins Consulting
