It can be really hard to tell if this is true…consistently looking inwards and assessing yourself post an interaction or event is a difficult (but important!) skill to master.
I think it’s fair enough to say when we approach challenging conversations, negotiations or meetings at work, we are all hoping for a positive outcome.
Sometimes though, our minds need a bit of a “re-set” before we step in to make sure. If we always prepare (mentally and physically) in advance, we are so much more likely to forge a successful outcome.
My suggestions for the “you” side of things? Take 10 minutes prior and ask yourself:
What is the outcome I want to achieve here?
What information do I need to obtain in this situation before delivering my own informed response? (Remember “Seek to understand and then be understood”).
What tone should my voice take on when speaking with this person(s)? Which words that I choose will attract the impact I seek? Choose your words carefully…
How do I want to appear physically? (if meeting in person) What should my body language look like?
What do I anticipate the attitude/ behaviour to be from the other person(s) in this situation? What contingencies do I have in place to respond to any negativity?
Am I bringing my best self to this situation?
It is both the preparation in advance and the reflection post taking part in an interaction – whether a conversation, meeting, review or interview – that sets us up for ongoing success in matching our intention with our behaviour. So, after such an interaction:
Reflect upon how the other person reacted to your behaviour and communication.
Seek feedback from reliable others regularly regarding how they perceive your ongoing interactions with others.
Always seek to evolve, develop and “be your best” but don’t over think a situation that doesn’t go the way you want it to – remember, it takes two to tango.
It takes courage to consistently enter “the room of mirrors” but the effort will reward you with a much more meaningful experience at work. Try it.
Lexie Wilkins, Culture and Employee-Engagement Expert and Director, Lexie Wilkins Consulting