Three ways to become more charismatic (and why it matters)

If I were to ask you to name the most charismatic person you can think of, who might it be and why? While charisma is often in the eye of the beholder, we can agree that people who are charismatic do share several identifiable traits. And the good news is that you can model these traits if charisma is something you’d like to build into your character.

Why be charismatic?

Charismatic people are likeable and respected. They convey contagious confidence in their point of view and can win people over with their magnetic personality and charm. When someone is charismatic, people want to be like them, and they also want to spend time with them. And when someone is charismatic, they are automatically more believable, no matter their point of view. You will most definitely be more persuasive if you can develop your perceived charisma. There are three areas to work on if you want to build your perceived charisma with others:

  1. Presence. Imagine a swan gliding along the water. They seem calm, serene, and controlled. Under the water, their legs are kicking and paddling furiously, but you don’t see all that commotion. All you see is the grace and poise on top of the water. People with charisma are smooth on the surface just like that swan! To ensure you seem smooth on the surface, it’s important to limit stressful behaviour such as jerky movements, closed body language, and impulsive comments, or actions.
    Charismatic people are also focused in the moment. When they are speaking with you, they can block out distractions and make you feel like you are the only person in the room.
  2. Power. Power is all about your self-belief and how much you like and back yourself. If you’re not sure that you are radiating confidence the good news is that you can fake it until you make it. You can demonstrate power by holding an upright, commanding posture, maintaining direct-connected eye contact, and by your superior ability to articulate your point through excellent structure and clever storytelling. Charismatic people are great storytellers. They know how to link a story to almost any situation that arises. And when they tell the story they communicate with confidence, passion, and enthusiasm. If you can link the conversation that you’re having with a thought-provoking fact it makes you and your story appealing. Perhaps you could begin to improve your power and charisma by participating in the conversations around you. Try to inject a short story, an example, or a metaphor into every conversation.
  3. Warmth. Warmth is about your perceived care and acceptance of the other person. If you are a charismatic person, you put people at ease and you make people feel amazing! People want to spend time with someone who makes them feel worthy. If you’re keen to develop this capability aim to do all the activities that build rapport easily, care about others, remember key facts about them. Warmth is also very much conveyed through the eyes and facial expressions. It’s important that while you are trying to boost your charisma you don’t use trickery to pretend you care about others. Instead, pay attention to all the micro cues around you, build your situational awareness including the environmental cues and the cues of your stakeholder and shift your behaviour so you do what you can to really care about others. Ensure this genuine care projects out through your eyes and facial expressions. This will dramatically improve your warmth and therefore your charisma.

It’s easier to develop your charisma if you know someone else who is charismatic and adopt some of their traits. You don’t need to take on all their behaviours, just the ones that suit your personality