I heard this statement while watching an NBA basketball game a few months ago. One of the commentators (Jeff Van Gundy, for those who are wondering) squeaked out, ‘Rules without relationships equals chaos!’ The comment was in reference to leading a basketball team and dealing with a player who was not pulling their weight.
So what the heck does this mean? How does it relate to your business and why am I talking about the NBA in a human-resource management article?
Ever heard people say ‘Hey, if I pay you out it means I like you!’? With the exception of those who mistake laughing at someone for laughing with them, this statement often rings true.
When we’re comfortable with each other, we can actually push the boundaries a bit further. We do that through revealing more about ourselves, whether it’s showing more of our personality or disclosing something personal. This removes the mystery, generates trust and brings out the human element. This goodwill acts as a buffer for anything that might cause tension down the track.
Relationships with team members need to be even better when you are the leader.
Individual contributors who move into management positions often become confused by what behaviour they need to change versus the behaviour they should maintain – or even heighten. Many managers believe that they need to distance themselves from their team. In fact, relationships with team members need to be even better when you are the leader.
Let me clarify what I mean by ‘better’.
Take a situation where an employee is complaining about their pay. The peer will often join in the complaint about the company – ‘They don’t appreciate us!’.
The leader who has a good relationship will take the time to delve into why they feel that way. They will do their best to empathise without sympathising. They will coach the employee so they have a clear plan of action to resolve their issue, whether it be working out the path to more money or helping them come to terms with their situation. Contrasting the two responses, who do you think has made the greater effort to care for and help the person, therefore having a ‘better’ relationship?
Imagine this scenario where there is no real relationship in existence. The outcome from the meeting is simple: they will be just as dissatisfied, or even more so than before the conversation. This will potentially cost the business in loss of productivity, disruption and/or employee turnover. When you have a stronger relationship with your people, you have a greater ability to get them to open up, challenge their thinking and ultimately coach them to a better place.
But what if I need to make the hard decision one day? Won’t it make things harder if I have a good relationship with my people? Actually it makes it easier, so long as you do one thing: give them honest feedback regularly. If you do that, provide the right support and it’s still not working out, the situation has a much greater chance of being resolved amicably.
So let me ask you this: How much goodwill have you built up with your people? Is your relationship strong enough to call their behaviour without resulting in chaos?
If not, time to close the gap. Time to get to know your people better and allow them to know you. So, why the NBA reference in a human resource management article? Because I’m a fan. So that’s one more thing you now know about me, hopefully painting me as slightly less mysterious and slightly more human.
Tommy Sim, Director,
